Proverbs 19:11

“Those with good sense are slow to anger, and it is their glory to overlook an offense.”

We get angry over a lot of things. To be honest, Americans as a society are pretty angry. Perhaps it stems from our idea of “rights.” We believe (and expect) that certain things are due us, that our lives should include the ability to choose and have and do (sometimes even without consequence). When those expectations are denied, we get angry.

It’s also a form of control. Here in America (and in other countries), we have come to believe that we control our own destiny. We choose the vocation or profession or job we will have. We choose where to live, who to marry, how many children we will have (aborting the rest). We choose when we will work and when we will play (and we play a lot!). So when we are denied these things, we get angry.

We often couch our anger in morality, claiming that this or that is unfair or wrong. But if we are honest, many times our protests cover our fear. We cannot control the situation so anger is better than . . . trust. You see, God is in control. All the time, in all things, through all people. And while we all have free will, ultimately His plans will come to effect.

“We know that all things work together for good for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose” (Romans 8:28 NRSV). This verse doesn’t say that God will only work out the good things or the things we control or when we are obedient (as opposed to sinning). It says that He will work out all things. And often, He works them out with Heaven in mind. That means the story doesn’t end here, on earth, but rather ends There, with Him. Hebrews 11:39-40a tell us that “yet all these, though they were commended for their faith, did not receive what was promised, since God had provided something better.” They didn’t receive what was promised. In other words, the “they lived happily ever after” didn’t happen in this life. Why? Because God promised something better: Heaven.

The Lord Jesus taught us that we are to “enter through the narrow gate; for the gate is wide and the road is easy that leads to destruction, and there are many who take it. For the gate is narrow and the road is hard that leads to life, and there are few who find it” (Matthew 7:13-14 NRSV). The road is hard that leads to life. That’s pretty clear. If we continue to look for the easy way, we may miss the way altogether.

So what does all this have to do with being slow to anger, to look over an offense? Well, the fact is that if God is working everything out for our God and if the “something better” He wants to provide isn’t here on earth, then those two old rules apply:

1. Don’t sweat the small stuff.
2. Everything is small stuff.

In other words, there’s no point in getting angry or afraid. There’s no point in holding onto resentment or wanting to get revenge. There’s no point even in trying to control. Rather we should be putting our efforts into living lives that glorify God through the fruit of the Spirit. We need to be focusing on being kind, being patience, being self-controlled, being gentle, being generous . . . and let God take care of everything else.

© 2009 Robin L. O’Hare. All Rights Reserved. International copyright reserved. This study may be copied for nonprofit and/or church purposes only without permission when copied in its entirety (including this notice).

Proverbs 19:8

“To get wisdom is to love oneself; to keep understanding is to prosper.” NRSV

There has been much discussion in the past decades about people needing to love themselves. It is an unnecessary discussion. We do love ourselves. It is part of the flesh nature. We may not love the situation we’re in, but the fact is that we wouldn’t even have the conversation if we didn’t, by our very nature, love ourselves.

Satan, who is a liar and the father of lies (John 8:44), tries to convince us that we need to spend more time focusing on loving ourselves. We need to focus on ourselves, to spend our time and resources getting for ourselves. We need to defend ourselves and get all that we deserve . . . for ourselves.

Rubbish!

Proverbs tells us that, if we truly love ourselves, we will first look to getting wisdom. That having wisdom is how we will prosper. And what is wisdom? Wisdom is God Himself.

In other words, if we truly love ourselves, we will do exactly the opposite of what feels comfortable. We will sacrifice, turn our backs on our own needs, and throw ourselves on the love and protection of our Heavenly Father Who is infinitely better suited to take care of us than we ourselves.

For example, it is innate in our being to want to protect our lives. As a culture, we Americans spend millions (might I say billions?) of dollars each year on health care, on beauty aids, on exercise, trying to extend our lives. And not only to extend them, but to look young and gorgeous in the process. If we, as Christians, get caught up in this insanity, we forget the basic premise of being a Christian. The apostle Paul taught us that “For to me, living is Christ and dying is gain” (Phil. 1:21 NRSV). In other words, there are only two states for a Christian. One is to live here in total self-sacrifice, doing only what Christ would have me do. The other is to die and gain everything from that death.

Why are we so afraid of dying? (And even in asking that question, many will deny it, and by that denial, admit it’s truth.) What is coming is far better than anything we could envision and imagine here. We run like hamsters in a cage trying to make this earth into a heaven, impossible as that is, when, in fact, we have Heaven—the true Heaven—already promised to us if we will only be faithful with the short time we have been given here.

If we want to love ourselves, we will put off the old man and, regardless of the suffering we may face, embrace Christ fully and without regard to the future. For only then is our future truly secured.

© 2009 Robin L. O’Hare. All Rights Reserved. International copyright reserved. This study may be copied for nonprofit and/or church purposes only without permission when copied in its entirety (including this notice).

Proverbs 19:5

“A false witness will not go unpunished, and a liar will not escape.” (NRSV)

Our mouths get us into more trouble than most other things, particularly if we are the kind of people who consider ourselves to be moral. I mean, we would never consider shooting someone or punching them out. But it’s nothing to gossip about them with a co-worker in a hidden corner. Rather than express our anger and fear to someone else, we need to learn how to pray.

Often we think that our perception, our judgment is true, but we fail to gather all the facts. In fact, we can’t gather all the facts because we aren’t with that other person 24/7. So when we make critical remarks about them, the odds are greater that what we are saying is a lie than the truth. Their motivations may be far different than what we think they are.

Just yesterday something happened to one of my students and I went spouting off again rather than simply allowing the Lord to speak to me about what to do. Later in the evening, the Holy Spirit revealed to me a solution that wasn’t harmful to anyone and yet may clear the way to also provide necessary services to the student.

If only I’d waited to see what the Lord could and would do.

I think we often talk in anger or fear because we don’t really trust the Lord to work in that situation. Yes, we know He is all powerful and can do anything, but I think we often believe—down in the smallest recesses of our hearts—that likely He’s not interested in this situation. The fact is, He’s interested in anything and everything that touches our character! He loves us! And will give us the wisdom to walk through any situation if we only trust Him and ask Him.

© 2009 Robin L. O’Hare. All Rights Reserved. International copyright reserved. This study may be copied for nonprofit and/or church purposes only without permission when copied in its entirety (including this notice).

Proverbs 19:4

“Wealth brings many friends, but the poor are left friendless.”

We are deluged with pictures of parties, frivolity, and laughter . . . in commercials and advertisements. Everyone seems so happy! And all because they bought____ (fill in the blank). In other words, they had money. And because of the money, they had friends.

Proverbs confirms it. Money brings friends. But what kind of friends? More importantly, what will happen to those friends when the money disappears? “Some friends play at friendship but a true friend sticks closer than one’s nearest kin” (Proverbs 18:24 NRSV). A person who is my friend because I have the money to entertain them or to give them isn’t really my friend. “A friend loves at all times” (Proverbs 17:17 NRSV). If someone is truly my friend, she will be there even during the hard times.

But this proverb is more than just about friends. It’s about money and how we desire it in order to change and control our lives. We think that with money life will be easier; things will be better. We might even be more popular. The Lord Jesus talked about money: “No one can serve two masters; for a slave will either hate the one and love the other, or be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and wealth” (Matthew 6:24 NRSV). It can’t be much clearer than that. If our goal in life is to have money (more money than we have right now) or to hang onto the money we have, then we cannot serve God. In fact, if we have money (which all of us in America do), then we are actually commanded to be generous with it: “As for those who in the present age are rich, command them not to be haughty, or to set their hopes on the uncertainty of riches, but rather on God who richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment. They are to do good, to be rich in good works, generous, and ready to share” (1 Timothy 6:17-18 NRSV). Notice that it doesn’t say that all believers will be wealthy, but for those of us who are, we are to be generous, liberal in giving, openhanded. In fact, James tells us that if we have when another doesn’t and we refuse to give, we actually don’t have faith:

“What good is it, my brothers and sisters, if you say you have faith but do not have works? Can faith save you? If a brother or sister is naked and lacks daily food, and one of you says to them, ‘Go in peace; keep warm and eat your fill,’ and yet you do not supply their bodily needs, what is the good of that? So faith by itself, if it has no works, is dead” (James 2:14-17 NRSV).

So, if we have, we are to give. And if we don’t have, we are to trust. Better to be poor and only have God for a friend than to be wealthy and have friends who will leave the moment the wealth disappears.

© 2009 Robin L. O’Hare. All Rights Reserved. International copyright reserved. This study may be copied for nonprofit and/or church purposes only without permission when copied in its entirety (including this notice).

Proverbs 19:3

“One’s own folly leads to ruin, yet the heart rages against the Lord.”

“I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate” (Romans 7:15).

Doing what I am supposed to do, according to the Bible, is one of the hardest things in life. It’s easy to be self-indulgent. It’s easy to be lazy. It’s easy to hide behind my emotions, my desires, my fears. It’s hard to be a Christian.

The Lord Jesus Himself promised us that we would be given power, the power of the Holy Spirit: “You will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you.” But that power isn’t the power to change circumstances, to make our lives easier, even for happiness. That power is the power to witness: “You will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth” (Acts 1:8).

We need to ask ourselves what our purpose in life is. It isn’t, as many preachers might tell us, to find happiness, to live a long and productive life, or even to build a family. Our purpose—our sole purpose as believers—is to be a witness. And we can only be a witness when we strategically and deliberately live a life that is holy and pleasing to the Lord.

Just this morning, I was reading A. W. Tozer, That Incredible Christian. He writes:

“For a long time I have believed that truth, to be understood, must be lived; that Bible doctrine is wholly ineffective until it has been digested and assimilated by the total life. I have held this to be an important element in the preaching of the Old Testament prophets, and I have felt it to be near to the heart of the moral teaching of our Lord Jesus Christ. I admit that this belief has made me a little lonely, for not many of my Christian brethren share it with me” (p. 92).

The only thing that separates a true believer from everyone else in the world is how she lives her life. If we live our lives understanding that we are a witness, that everyone else is looking at us to see what it means to have the power of the Holy Spirit within us, perhaps we will make different choices.

I know that I need to!

© 2009 Robin L. O’Hare. All Rights Reserved. International copyright reserved. This study may be copied for nonprofit and/or church purposes only without permission when copied in its entirety (including this notice).

Proverbs 19:2

“Desire without knowledge is not good, and one who moves too hurriedly misses the way.” NRSV

Have you ever wished you could be somebody or have something? Of course! It’s within every human heart to dream, to wish, to fantasize about what might have been. The problem is, we often don’t become, don’t have because we haven’t paid the price. Even more importantly, how often do we get ourselves into a situation (because our wanting) without first understanding what it will cost us? And then, in the midst of everything, we regret where we are but are so enmeshed, we can’t extract ourselves.

“Desire without knowledge . . .” To want something without understanding what it will cost. The Lord Jesus taught about this very plainly: “For which of you, intending to build a tower, does not sit down first and count the cost, whether he has enough to finish it” (Luke 14:28 NKJV). Sit down first and count the cost. Our desire to have is often so strong that we don’t use our ability to think and determine what that desire is actually going to cost us. We just want so we rush ahead.

Another way to look at this is to consider all the possible consequences. Often, we want to look at just the possible good consequences without considering the possible bad consequences. It’s that old “oh, that will never happen to me” mentality. And yet, often it does happen to us and suddenly we are bemoaning our original decision. (Or, even more likely, bemoaning why chance choose us.)

There is One Who knows the exact consequences of every decision we consider: the Holy Spirit. What fools we are for not taking our decisions to Him in prayer and waiting for an answer. He is ready and willing to guide us at each step if we will only ask . . . and wait.

© 2009 Robin L. O’Hare. All Rights Reserved. International copyright reserved. This study may be copied for nonprofit and/or church purposes only without permission when copied in its entirety (including this notice).

Proverbs 19:1

“Better the poor walking in integrity than one perverse of speech who is a fool.” NRSV

Integrity is as much what we say as what we do.

We have tried, in our culture, to separate what we say from what we do. “Do as I say, not as I do” is a phrase I heard periodically growing up. But the fact is, we are what we say. Our words, in fact, are often predictors of our actions and are certainly revealers of our hearts.

This proverb compares two people, one who “walks in integrity” without wealth and one who is “perverse in speech” and a fool. The inference, of course, is that the one who is perverse in speech has more material wealth than the other. The writer tells us that it’s better to be poor and have integrity than to be wealthy and a fool. And what makes a fool? Someone whose speech is perverse.

To be perverse means to turn away from what’s good and right. Think about that. Are our words good? Do they glorify the Lord? Or are they hurtful . . . or mean . . . or simply degrading? What are perverse words anyway?

When I was a teenager, a friend gave me a sign for my room. It was a not-so-gentle reminder that I often spoke before I thought. It said: “Please engage brain before putting mouth into gear.” The fact is, we are so afraid of silence that we often speak without thinking about the consequences of what we say. We want to be right and think that overpowering others with our quantity of words will make us so.

James 1:19 admonishes us: “You must understand this, my beloved: let everyone be quick to listen, slow to speak” (NRSV). Be quick to listen. Be slow to speak. But the fact is, we are very quick to speak and very slow to listen. And how often that our quickness of speak make our words perverse? In fact, if perversion is the opposite of what is right and good and if God commands us to be slow to speak, then more often than not, our words are perverse simply because they are against God’s command for us to stop speaking and listen instead.

Would our speaking change the course of human history? Often, no. Would it even change the mind of the person who is forced to listen to us? Again, probably no. Our integrity comes from obedience to God’s Word and God tells us that we need to learn to consider the other person by listening to them, rather than demanding that they listen to us.

© 2009 Robin L. O’Hare. All Rights Reserved. International copyright reserved. This study may be copied for nonprofit and/or church purposes only without permission when copied in its entirety (including this notice).

Proverbs 18:24

“Some friends play at friendship but a true friend sticks closer than one’s nearest kin.” NRSV

I think that, on the whole, we don’t really know how to be friends these days. In fact, our idea of friendship is often quite skewed because we either liken it to some kind of party (albeit an informal gathering down at the local pub over a brew) or we see it as something that makes us feel better. I think, all in all, we are more likely the first—someone who plays at friendship—than the latter—someone who sticks closer than a brother.

Understand that, when Proverbs was written, families lived together in one compound. Thus, there was a bond—heightened by financial intertwining—that existed between brothers. Sons (and daughters) didn’t grow up to maturity and move away, but rather grew up to become part of the family’s industry (whatever that was). Brothers were interconnected to such an extent that it was difficult to exist apart. So not only were they related physically (by blood), but there was a geographic and financial relationship that never ended.

Kenneth Aitken (The Daily Study Bible Series Proverbs) writes:

“There is one for whom the bond of friendship is closer than kinship, and who ‘sticks’ with his friend through thick and thin. ‘Sticks’ is the same word used in Ruth 1:14 of Ruth ‘clinging’ to her mother-in-law, Naomi. Ecclesiasticus puts the contrast this way: ‘There is a friend who is a table companion, but will not stand by you in your day of trouble’ (6:10)” (p. 169).

The thing I think we often miss is that friendship isn’t about what we will get, but rather what we should give. You can’t have friends because people choose whether or not to be friendly. But you can choose to be a friend. In other words, while this is an observation about who our friends are, it’s even more a description of the kind of friend we need to be to others. Do we play at friendship . . . and then leave when we get disinterested or when it becomes harder to be that person’s friend? Or do we hang around even when the going gets tough? As Christians, in everything we do, we need to be true. And if we purport to be someone’s friend, then we need to be a true friend through the power of the Holy Spirit.

© 2009 Robin L. O’Hare. All Rights Reserved. International copyright reserved. This study may be copied for nonprofit and/or church purposes only without permission when copied in its entirety (including this notice).

Proverbs 18:22

“He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor from the Lord.” NRSV

Marriage is very special to the Lord. He didn’t just create two genders and throw them together, hoping that they might be able to work out some kind of relationship. He actually create marriage when he created men and women. In other words, what’s important isn’t so much the relationship as the marriage itself.

In our society, we have lowered marriage to simply relationship. It’s so much more than that. Marriage is an earthly picture of the Church’s relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ. In Ephesians 5, Paul calls this kind of joining, two becoming one flesh, “a great mystery” (v. 32). And it is just that. When two—a husband and wife—join together, they become something wonderful. And that “something” is also a picture of how God wants to be joined with us.

In Matthew 19:3, the Lord Jesus tells us that God Himself joins a husband and wife together. There is something other-worldly about marriage that we have forgotten. Something that lends a holiness to marriage that must be acknowledged. In marriage, God creates a “one flesh” from two beings. It’s more than love. More than the sexual act. More than even creating children. It’s an image, here on earth, of how God wants to be joined with us. The Church is the Bride of Christ. At the wedding feast in heaven, our marriage will be consummated. Every marriage on earth is a symbol or picture of that consummation.

Marriage is a very complicated thing involving relationship, but being more than just relationship. It is family building. It is commitment. It is learning how to forgive at the deepest level (and learning how to trust God when your spouse drives you crazy!).

Notice that the writer of proverbs places two attributes on marriage: (1) it is a good thing, and (2) those who marry find favor with the Lord. That isn’t to say that people who don’t marry won’t find favor. But for those who marry, God’s favor comes when we honor our marriages. Too many of us have reduced marriage to a place where we get what we need (finding our soulmates, being happy, etc.). Marriage is about honoring God.

Perhaps if we start marriage from that position, we will find ourselves being more committed and less self-centered . . .

© 2009 Robin L. O’Hare. All Rights Reserved. International copyright reserved. This study may be copied for nonprofit and/or church purposes only without permission when copied in its entirety (including this notice).

Proverbs 11:25-26

“A generous person will be enriched, and one who gives water will get water. The people curse those who hold back grain, but a blessing is on the head of those who sell it.”

A generous person will be enriched . . .

We are living in a times of great need. Government leaders from all over the world are scrambling, doing what they think they should to stop imminent economic collapse. Unemployment is soaring. Housing prices are plummeting.

A generous person will be enriched . . .

The tendency in such times is to not only tighten one’s belt, but to think twice before sharing. I mean, how will we have enough for tomorrow if we give it away today?

A generous person will be enriched . . .

Certainly, many of the people in financial trouble right now are those who have been less than expedient with their money, are those who invested unwisely, or are those who don’t understand the true meaning of working hard. Why should they be given more to waste when they couldn’t take care of what they had in the first place?

A generous person will be enriched . . .

One of the amazing dynamics of Christianity—one of the things that make God Who He is (as different from us)—is that the rules of life often work (seemingly) backward. If we give away, how can we gain? And yet, scripture never lies. If we want to gain, we must be willing to give. The Lord Jesus explained it: “Give, and it will be given to you: good measure, pressed down, shaken together, and running over will be put into your bosom. For with the same measure that you use, it will be measured back to you” (Luke 6:38 NKJV).

There is a real tendency, in times like this, to draw inward, to reduce what we give to others. Even churches, as organizations, are choosing first to stop their giving to missions and to charities, choosing instead to pay salaries and bills. And while our obligations to home and family are important, we will never be able to meet them if we doubt what God Himself has said.

A generous person will be enriched . . .

In this economy, the only thing that may distinguish true Christians from everyone else might just be how generous we are. What a golden opportunity to demonstrate to the world how much God loves them . . . by sharing with them from our lack (and trusting God to make up whatever it is we don’t have).

How willing are we to open our hearts, our homes . . . and our wallets to those in need around us?

© 2009 Robin L. O’Hare. All Rights Reserved. International copyright reserved. This study may be copied for nonprofit and/or church purposes only without permission when copied in its entirety (including this notice).