Proverbs 3:27-30

“Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due,
when it is in your power to do it.
Do not say to your neighbor, ‘Go, and come again,
tomorrow I will give it’—when you have it with you.
Do not plan harm against your neighbor
who lives trustingly beside you.
Do not quarrel with anyone without cause,
when no harm has been done to you.” NRSV

“What good is it, my brothers and sisters, if you say you have faith but do not have works? Can faith save you? If a brother or sister is naked and lacks daily food, and one of you says to them, ‘Go in peace; keep warm and eat your fill,’ and yet you do not supply their bodily needs, what is the good of that? So faith by itself, if it has no works, is dead” (James 2:14-17 NRSV).

Since we, as Christians, have the ability to do good through the power of the Holy Spirit, we should at least try to do good as much as we are able. It grieves me to see Christians, including myself, being as self-centered as possible because somehow we think we deserve it. Christianity, at its core, is about doing good for others and trusting God to take care of us.

Sometimes I don’t trust God enough to be good to others. I think that I need to hoard for myself because then I won’t have enough.

What’s interesting, though, about these proverbs is that there are qualifiers. Perhaps this is what Jesus meant when He said: “Do not give what is holy to dogs; and do not throw your pearls before swine, or they will trample them under foot and turn and maul you” (Matthew 7:6 NRSV). I do think, though, we need to be careful in our judgement of whether or not a person is qualified to receive our help. Better to give and be wrong than not to give at all.

• Do not withhold good when it is in your power to do it.

Have you ever been too tired? too busy? too preoccupied? I have.

Two days ago I was sidelined by a doctor for a recurring foot problem. How do I stop and allow this to heal when I have so much going on? (And still more looming at me!) And yet, there is the same question: How can I stop and help someone when I’m late for work, late for an appointment, just late, period? How can I have resources to give when I’m already overextended? I know that I tend to use all I have (time included) and not necessarily for good. Rather, I seem to be preoccupied about getting for me and not nearly enough about finding out what God wants me to do.

• Do not say “Go, and come again,” when you have it with you.

I save . . . wrongly. I don’t save as I should and I save when I shouldn’t. The fact is, as a Christian, I should be generous to a fault. After all, who is providing for me? Me? Or God? And if I truly believe that God is providing for me, don’t I have enough with some to spare?

“He sat down opposite the treasury, and watched the crowd putting money into the treasury. Many rich people put in large sums. A poor widow came and put in two small copper coins, which are worth a penny. Then he called his disciples and said to them, ‘Truly I tell you, this poor widow has put in more than all those who are contributing to the treasury. For all of them have contributed out of their abundance; but she out of her poverty has put in everything she had, all she had to live on’” (Mark 12:41-44 NRSV).

I’ve often wondered what happened after this. This account is like a movie where you want to know what happened to the characters after the last credit. What happened to this widow? Did Jesus tell the disciples to go feed her? Did God multiply her resources like He did for the widow during Elijah’s time? Or did He take her home to Heaven where there is no more want?

The fact is, the ever-after ending in the life of every believer is that, ultimately, we will be in heaven, completely and absolutely provided for forever. So why do we worry and fuss so much about what we have or don’t have now? Yes, we need to be responsible, but we don’t need to be obsessed. Does someone else need something more than us and we have it? Then why aren’t we willing to freely give it?

I was in my classroom the other day, using one of my “signature” purple mechanical pencils. This particular pencil had been a bit expensive (more than a dollar), so I had been careful to put it away in the drawer after each day. One of my students saw it and said, “Oh, I like that pencil. Can I have it?” I immediately gave it to her. She was astonished. “You are giving me your pencil? Oh, I’ll pay you for it.” And she proceeded to pull out a five dollar bill. She couldn’t understand when I was willing simply to give it to her.

I teach children whose parents are unwilling to give to them, but make them “pay” for almost everything they get. (On the other hand, I also have other children in my class whose parents give them everything and more. And that’s equally unhealthy.)

The point being, as Christians, shouldn’t we be willing to give, knowing Who our Source is?

• Do not plan harm against your neighbor

You know, like family, you don’t really get to choose your neighbors. People buy or rent homes without getting permission from the neighborhood. So you might have someone living next to or near you that, simply put, you don’t like. And yet, the Bible tells us plainly not to plan harm. That means even emotional harm. We should, as Christians, be the first to welcome, the first there in time of distress or pain, the first to rejoice when something wonderful happens.

We don’t exactly live in a “perfect” neighborhood. There are two homes with multiple families (where there shouldn’t be), a couple with mental and emotional problems, and a family whose daughter regularly uses drugs. Not exactly the kind of neighborhood that heps property values. And yet, what a place for ministry, for reaching out!

As Christians, our goal should be to do no harm, to bring benefit to those around us.

• Do not quarrel when no harm has been done.

While I do believe there are instances of true emotional abuse, I also believe that we are often too easily offended. One of the things I tell my students is that if what someone says is true, then you shouldn’t be upset, because it’s true. And if it isn’t true, then their saying it doesn’t make it true so then you have no reason to be upset.

As a society we used to define harm as “irreparable” harm meaning it wouldn’t grow back or heal or be easily replaced. Now, it seems like we tend to look for any reason to claim that someone has harmed us so that we can benefit from it. When did we stop forgiving and start holding grudges? When did we stop looking out for others and start focusing on ourselves?

Are there instances of true abuse? Absolutely! I see that in my students almost everyday. But are there many more instances of simply being human, with the need to forgive, forget and go on? I’m convinced of it.

I think if we had a longer view of life, we would be more willing to forgive. I mean, if we are truly spending eternity in heaven and this life is simply a hiccup, then where should our priorities be? Are we better off if we forgive and go on, rather than stewing in our own pain and bitterness? Absolutely!

Ultimately as Christians, we need to ask ourselves who we are and why we are who we are. Who are we serving? Ourselves? Or the Lord? Over the long haul, I think the best epitaph would be “She loved others better than herself.” Maybe someday I’ll learn how to be that person. I just have to keep trying.

© 2008 Robin L. O’Hare. All Rights Reserved. International copyright reserved. This study may be copied for nonprofit and/or church purposes only without permission when copied in its entirety (including this notice).