Proverbs 5:15-20

“Drink water from your own cistern,
flowing water from your own well.
Should your springs be scattered abroad,
streams of water in the streets?
Let them be for yourself alone,
and not for sharing with strangers.
Let your fountain be blessed,
and rejoice in the wife of your youth,
a lovely deer, a graceful doe.
May her breasts satisfy you at all times;
may you be intoxicated always by her love.
Why should you be intoxicated, my son, by another woman
and embrace the bosom of an adulteress?” NRSV

I’m surrounded, in my school, by children who are growing up in “blended” families. Paraphrased from another situation: “I don’t know what is worse. The fact that we have blended families or the fact that they are so commonly accepted that there is actually a term for them?” Just this week we had dinner with two (now) single moms who have shared, at one time, the same husband. And so, for several years, they have co-parented each other’s children. While the effort to keep these children together is commendable, the fact that these young women (in their thirties) are on their third (or fourth or fifth) partners is, in itself, frightening.

Solomon talks about “rejoic[ing] in the wife of your youth.” There is something to be said for growing old together. There is a comfort in familiarity. It is a safe haven when you can go and know that you will be accepted. I guess I don’t understand why people have this desire (this need?) for the new, the unknown, the unfamiliar. I think perhaps we look to new situations (new relationships, new jobs, new homes) as a way to fix what’s wrong with where and who we are right now. If we could just get that new job in a new city, we’d be happy. If we could just have that new relationship with that new person, we’d find love and acceptance.

The problem is, we take ourselves with us into that new situation. In other words, whatever it is that is causing us to be discontented now . . . will still be there (eventually) then. Because we will be there.

God gives us a command here. He doesn’t say “find joy in the wife of your youth.” He says, “Rejoice in the wife of your youth.” In other words (my paraphrase), “determine to be joyful with the relationship you have now.” If we could understand that our decisions can determine our emotions, rather than allowing our emotions to determine our decisions, we would find it much easier to walk to the narrow path.

Ever walk down the hallway at work and have a co-worker ask you how you are? Of course. It happens to us all. The next time, be conscious of how you react. Do you frown and find something to complain about? Or do you smile and find something to rejoice about? We always have a choice! Even when we are hurting or sad or confused or anxious, we can choose to find the silver lining, to rejoice in the blessings God has sent for us today. Just a beautiful sky or a singing bird or someone’s smile can be a blessing. In fact, if we were to begin to list all the blessings we have, we would be overwhelmed.

We can learn to rejoice in our present situations, in our current relationships, in the place where God has planted us.

© 2008 Robin L. O’Hare. All Rights Reserved. International copyright reserved. This study may be copied for nonprofit and/or church purposes only without permission when copied in its entirety (including this notice).