"Now the birth of Jesus Christ was as follows: After His mother Mary was betrothed to Joseph, before they came together, she was found with child of the Holy Spirit. Then Joseph her husband, being a just man, and not wanting to make her a public example, was minded to put her away secretly. But while he thought about these things, behold, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream, saying, ‘Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take to you Mary your wife, for that which is conceived in her is of the Holy Spirit.’" (NKJV)
There is a difference between being right and being righteous.
Joseph was betrothed to Mary. Betrothal was more than an engagement and less than a marriage; however, it was a time when brides were to prove, through this period, that they weren’t already pregnant with another man’s child. Mary was betrothed to Joseph . . . and she became pregnant.
Joseph knew he wasn’t the father.
Verse 19 tells us that Joseph was a "just" man. This Greek word, dikaios, means "righteous, observing divine laws; in a wide sense, upright, righteous, virtuous, keeping the commands of God." It can also mean someone who prides themselves on their virtues (on being right). Joseph was this kind of man. He knew that he hadn’t had relations with Mary. He knew that she was pregnant by someone else.
He had every right to sever his relationship with her.
His first impulse was to sever the relationship quietly and have her go away, probably into hiding, to have the baby. Perhaps he didn’t want the questions about the pregnancy. "Who’s the father?" "Are you?" "Wouldn’t she wait for you?" "Doesn’t she respect you?" "Isn’t she loyal to you?" The fact that Mary became pregnant—and not with him—had to be a huge blow to his psyche. He had to have felt betrayed, embarrassed, disrespected, even very much alone. All the plans that he had for their future were gone! There would be no marriage. Mary had betrayed him.
Many have commented that Joseph was an honorable man in wanting to have Mary "disappear" with her pregnancy. But another view is possible. Since dikaios also means "someone who prides themselves on their virtues," Joseph may have been so embarrassed and demeaned by what happened that he didn’t really want anyone else to know. He may have been wanting to protect his reputation and his rights by having the only other "witness" to the event disappear.
Joseph was used to being right . . . and, to be honest, he had every reason to deserve to be right in this situation. He had been betrayed. His bride was pregnant by someone else.
The problem is . . . Joseph was right, but his initial response wasn’t righteous. He made assumptions based on the facts as he knew them and he was acting according to those facts. However, the facts as he knew them were wrong! And Joseph came "this close" to missing out on one of the greatest blessings of all time—being the earthly "father" of the Messiah. Joseph, in his desire to be right, almost failed to be righteous.
Being right isn’t the same thing as being righteous.
2 Chronicles 7:14 says: "If My people who are called by My name will humble themselves and pray and seek My face and turn from their wicked ways . . ." (NKJV).
Humble. To destroy the power or prestige. To give up being right.
In America, we pride ourselves in being right. It’s a national culture. We are right before the world; we can do no wrong. And that attitude has permeated the American Church as well. We know what is right and we will vote it into existence. And if we can’t vote it in, we will somehow force it upon others. We know we are right and we will make sure that everyone else is subjugated to that "rightness."
As Christians, we have become bullies. We are so convinced that what we believe, what we want, what we believe is "right" that we want to force everyone else to our mindset, whether on a national level or in our own interpersonal relationships. And in that belief of our own "rightness," we have failed to see that we have missed the mark of being righteous.
Luke 18:9-14: "Then Jesus told this story to some who had great self-confidence and scorned everyone else: ‘Two men went to the Temple to pray. One was a Pharisee, and the other was a dishonest tax collector. The proud Pharisee stood by himself and prayed this prayer: ‘I thank you, God, that I am not a sinner like everyone else, especially like that tax collector over there! For I never cheat, I don’t sin, I don’t commit adultery, I fast twice a week, and I give you a tenth of my income.’ But the tax collector stood at a distance and dared not even lift his eyes to heaven as he prayed. Instead, he beat his chest in sorrow, saying, ‘O God, be merciful to me, for I am a sinner.’ I tell you, this sinner, not the Pharisee, returned home justified before God. For the proud will be humbled, but the humble will be honored." (NLT)
The word translated here in the NLT as "great self-confidence" is the same Greek word used to describe Joseph. Jesus was making a comparison between being right and being righteous. The righteous are humble. The right are . . . well, right. But they aren’t righteous. When we go into a situation with our goal to be right, we stop seeing the other person and we only see our own goals, our own rights. Jesus never saw His own rights; He only saw us, the people He came to die for.
Humility breeds righteousness. Humility seeks God’s will and wants to love in every encounter. Being right breeds arrogance. It seeks it’s own and wants to win in every encounter.
Being right isn’t the same thing as being righteous. Unfortunately, too much "being right" is being preached from our pulpits, from Christian television, from Christian media. But none of that matters. The Father isn’t ever going to ask us if we were right. He’s only concerned whether or not we are righteous.
© 2014 Robin L. O’Hare. All Rights Reserved.
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