Last night I was at the mall, picking up a can of nutrients at the health foods store. As I got in line, a man was in front of me. The two cashiers were flirting with him, saying that they guessed he was a marine. When he asked how they knew, they proceeded to tell him that a lot of military men came into the store and they could always pick out the soldiers (Army) and the marines. He asked them how they could tell the two apart and they said that the soldiers were softer, less muscular.
Now, I’m an Army mom and absolutely convinced that my son is a best soldier in the world. My first response was to immediately begin to protest; that comment about soldiers being soft really got my hackles up.
And then I stopped.
What would I truly be doing if I rebuke those girls, particularly in front of the man they were trying to impress? Would my words be uplifting and Christlike? Or, in my belief that soldiers needed my defending, would I crush those girls? Which was the loving response?
Some things in life need correcting. If someone is driving down a road where I know the bridge is washed out, I need to try to stop them. But if a person is simply misinformed about a fact that isn’t crucial either to their life or their eternal salvation, then am I truly loving them by demonstrating that I’m right and they’re wrong?
Titus reminds us “to speak evil of no one, to be peaceable, gentle, showing all humility to all men.” Ecclesiastes 5:2 says: “Do not be rash with your mouth. Let your words be few.” Proverbs 12:18 says: “There is one who speaks like the piercings of a sword, gut the tongue of the wise promotes health.”
When we correct or criticize, we need to ask ourselves if we are promoting health in the life of those who are listening to us? James reminds us: “If anyone among you thinks he is religious, and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his own heart, this one's religion is useless” (James 1:26).
I know that the lesson I learned last night from the Lord I will remember. Even at 55 (almost 56), I still have a long way to go to become the woman that He wants me to be.
© 2010 Robin L. O’Hare. All rights reserved. Permission granted for nonprofit and church groups to use this article in its entirety (including this notice). For other uses, please contact servinggodalone@yahoo.com.
1 comment:
Hi, Robin. I'm not sure how you could have best handled that situation. If you had lashed out, it would have probably been more for selfish reasons (anger that someone indirectly slighted a loved one) than for their benefit.
However, sometimes it's okay to be selfish. I think you could have addressed the issue with direct honesty. You could have politely said, "My son is in the army, and I think he would find your comment insulting, as do I." That's nothing but the truth, and no one can blame you for telling the truth.
Maybe the cashiers would be annoyed, but it wouldn't have been the end of the world, and perhaps next time they'll think a little harder before dropping comments like that. Also, you would feel better, and the resentment would vanish right then and there instead of lingering.
I'm interested in what you'll think of my latest article. It concerns the torture propaganda we're given daily through popular entertainment. Nothing preachy, just a quick and mostly-neutral observation.
Have a safe and happy weekend, Robin.
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