Proverbs 16:31

“Gray hair is a crown of glory;
it is gained in a righteous life.” NRSV

“But take care and watch yourselves closely, so as neither to forget the things that your eyes have seen nor to let them slip from your mind all the days of your life; make them known to your children and your children’s children . . .” Deuteronomy 4:9 NRSV

When my mom passed away, she had a drawer full of beautiful and frilly hankies. I can remember her carrying one in her purse all the time and . . . (horror of horrors) using it! We, of course, were older and more sophisticated and knew that hankies could carry germs and all kinds of yucky stuff. So we more properly sneezed and coughed into our hands rather than some old cloth carried in a pocket or purse.

Until today.

Last year our school district nurse came around to all the schools, talking about the unhygienic practice of coughing and sneezing into one’s hands. (Hands carry germs, you know, and transfer them to other things, including your own hands). The new “proper” way to cough or sneeze is into your sleeve.

Why not a hankie? Certainly that’s more sanitary. And personally, I’d rather be around someone carrying a hankie in their pocket than sneezing on their sleeve. Seems my mom was right all along . . .

We live in a society where the new, the young, the fresh is lauded and the old, the experienced, the seasoned is, well, yesterday’s news and not very interesting at all. There is, as we all know, a frenetic and almost obsessive interest in being “young.” To the point where we see women with face-lifts that match twenty year olds (while their hands and bodies still reflect the ravages of time). Everything is done to hide one’s age as if being older—being old—is something to disdain. Certainly we no longer value listening to or learning from those older than us. How can they possibly know anything of value? It’s the younger generation that has something to say.

Isn’t it?

It’s too bad that we are discarding our most valuable resource, the wise and aging in our society. Those who have already “been there, done that” have a wealth of wisdom to pass onto those of us who are younger. They have already learned the tricks of the trade and know the pitfalls of the road ahead. We could avoid a lot of pain simply by listening to them.

I can remember my grandmother, her hands particularly. She worked her entire life doing physically difficult work. For years, she worked as a waitress in a Miami hotel, morning and noons in the coffee shop, evenings in the dining room. She could hold all kinds of hot dishes with no pads and balance twelve loaded plates on her strong arms. After they moved to California, she worked as an upholstery seamstress and even made her own couch (which I inherited and used for many years). She wasn’t much on the finer arts of “womanliness,” simply curling her gray hair and wearing neat clothes. But I loved her greatly for her humility and love was as great as her strength. She had wonderfully wrinkled and freckled hands that could hold me tight like no one else. And a determination in her heart that conquered any disaster.

I have had the great blessing of having many wonderful older men and women in my life. My parents taught me to cherish these relationships, to listen to my elders, to learn from them. And, in the end, it didn’t matter how much more trivia I knew than they did (me with my college education and technical knowledge); they always knew a great deal more about life and serving the Lord than I did, knowledge that has continued to serve me well even as each has made that final trip Home.

I think that, as a Church, as a society, we are casting away our greatest resource when we isolate generations and place in positions of leadership those who are still young. We have so much to learn from those who have walked the road before us. Perhaps it’s time we admitted that maybe, just maybe they might have something to offer.

© 2008 Robin L. O’Hare. All Rights Reserved. International copyright reserved. This study may be copied for nonprofit and/or church purposes only without permission when copied in its entirety (including this notice).