Proverbs 9:7-9

“Whoever corrects a scoffer wins abuse;
whoever rebukes the wicked gets hurt.
A scoffer who is rebuked will only hate you;
the wise, when rebuked, will love you.
Give instruction to the wise, and they will become wiser still;
teach the righteous and they will gain in learning.”

Sarcasm, disdain, and the desire to harm should not exist between two believers. “By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another” (John 13:35 NRSV). Do I have such a need to be “right” that I would refuse to learn, refuse to love, refuse to forgive?

One of the connotations for “scoffer” (Hebrew: luwts) is “talks arrogantly” (Strong’s). Merriam-Webster defines “arrogant” as “an attitude of superiority manifested in an overbearing manner or in presumptuous claims or assumptions.” The fact is, we do try to be overbearing, to dominant those who disagree with us. We try to have the last word, to exult when others can’t counter our arguments, to rejoice when others are beaten down. Conversely, we are angry and distraught when we ourselves are attacked and derided.

Is being right so important that we must—that I must—talk arrogantly to other believers, rather than living in a state of humility, rather than being teachable? Even learning that what someone else says is wrong is still learning. Thomas Edison, after trying to invent the lightbulb and failing time after time: “I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.”

It’s interesting in this proverb that the emphasis isn’t upon the content of what is being learned, but rather upon the character of the learner. We, then, need to decide what kind of learners we are. Are we the wicked, the scoffers, those who speak arrogantly? Or are we believers, those who love each other, the righteous who will become wiser still?

© 2008 Robin L. O’Hare. All Rights Reserved. International copyright reserved. This study may be copied for nonprofit and/or church purposes only without permission when copied in its entirety (including this notice).

Proverbs 9:6

“Lay aside immaturity, and live,
and walk in the way of insight.” NRSV

We live in a youth-focused culture. Everything, it seems, around us is about being young, staying young. I asked one of my young students one day what she wanted to be when she grew up. She said, “I don’t want to ever grow up.” I asked her to explain. “Because kids get to do everything they want to do.”

What a sad (and totally self-centered) commentary.

Now, it’s not surprising that children are self-centered. We are born egocentric. Think of a baby. It doesn’t concern itself with others at all. When it’s hungry, it screams. When it’s uncomfortable, it screams. When it’s feeling lonely or bored, it screams. Babies don’t care what else is going on around them. They scream when they have negative feelings and continue screaming until that negativity is removed. That is the way of the young.

But it seems to me that many adults would like to remain in this young, without-responsibility, totally self-centered state. Not only are we afraid of old age and dying, but we are afraid of maturity, of responsibility.

That was never to be the way of the believer. “Lay aside immaturity and live.” I see something rather wonderful here, the inference of grabbing life in its fullest, but in the context of maturity: “Lay aside immaturity and [go out there and grab life by the throat; truly live understanding what it means to be a mature believer].” There is something to be said for maturity, to the discerning ability to understand the probable consequences of most situations, to be able to problem-solve and make it work.

We are finishing a minor remodel to our downstairs bath. We did part of it two years ago and decided this summer to finish. Only, the chair rail that we purchased two years ago has disappeared and the store no longer carries it. In fact, in the area where we live, no one carries a traditional chair rail. So, we were faced with either delaying the remodel, trying to drive down the hill (a great distance away) and find something or adapt something else to our purpose.

A problem needing a solution. While this isn’t a traditionally spiritual problem, it is a typical life problem: having a need and not an easy way to solve it. This is where maturity and reliance on the wisdom of God is absolutely necessary. Problems with ready made solutions are for the young and inexperienced. Problems that need creativity and insight are for the mature.

There’s nothing wrong with having lived long enough to have experience . . . or wisdom . . . or insight. And there’s nothing wrong with learning from those who’ve gone before and have more maturity than we do.

I think the other reason we like to embrace spiritual immaturity is that it gives us an excuse to hold onto our pet sins. Maturity forces us to confront even the most hidden sin and root it out. That being said, isn’t it time we all did some spiritual housecleaning?

© 2008 Robin L. O’Hare. All Rights Reserved. International copyright reserved. This study may be copied for nonprofit and/or church purposes only without permission when copied in its entirety (including this notice).

Proverbs 8:12-21

“I, wisdom, live with prudence,
and I attain knowledge and discretion.
The fear of the Lord is hatred of evil.
Pride and arrogance and the way of evil
and perverted speech I hate.
I have good advice and sound wisdom;
I have insight, I have strength.
By me kings reign,
and rulers decree what is just;
by me rulers rule,
and nobles, all who govern rightly.
I love those who love me,
and those who seek me diligently find me.
Riches and honor are with me,
enduring wealth and prosperity.
My fruit is better than gold, even fine gold,
and my yield than choice silver.
I walk in the way of righteousness,
along the paths of justice,
endowing with wealth those who love me,
and filling their treasuries.” NRSV

It’s interesting that Solomon juxtaposes an entire commentary on adultery next to his sermon (beginning now) on wisdom . . . and . . . personifies wisdom as a woman. It’s as if to say, seek not the woman you can’t have (the adulteress who belongs to another man), but rather seek the woman you can have, wisdom. I think that this personification is very important in our lives because it demonstrates God’s wisdom in not requiring us to live in a vacuum. Father God doesn’t say, “Don’t sin,” without saying, “But seek Me.” In other words, there is always a positive opposite to the command. “This don’t do, but this do.”

The temptations of sin are great and the rewards of sin are—for the moment—often luscious and delightful. But there are greater pleasures and rewards awaiting us when we seek, rather, obedience to the Father’s will and the acts which please Him.

What is this wisdom, exactly? Vine’s: “Chokmah is the knowledge and the ability to make the right choices at the opportune time.” It’s interesting that the wisdom Solomon describes isn’t esoteric; it’s not just knowing what is right. It’s also the ability to do what is right.

I think that, down deep, many of us, if confronted, know what is the right thing to do in most moments. We know not to gossip, not to overeat, not to watch that movie with the sex scene, not to snap at our children, not to ignore our spouses. We know all these things. But in the stresses and assaults of life, we often lack the ability to access and act upon that knowledge. Wisdom is more than just the knowledge; it is also the ability to act upon such knowledge. If we are truly wise (as we all seek to be), then our actions will demonstrate that wisdom.

In other words, wisdom is seen (rather than necessarily spoken).

James agrees with this in his epistle:

“Who is wise and understanding among you? Show by your good life that your works are done with gentleness born of wisdom. But if you have bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not be boastful and false to the truth. Such wisdom does not come down from above, but is earthly, unspiritual, devilish. For where there is envy and selfish ambition, there will also be disorder and wickedness of every kind. But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, willing to yield, full of mercy and good fruits, without a trace of partiality or hypocrisy. And a harvest of righteousness is sown in peace for those who make peace” (3:13-18 NRSV).

What are some of the characteristics of wisdom?

• Live with prudence
• Attain knowledge and discretion
• fear of the Lord
• hatred of evil
• Good advice, insight, and strength
• Rules rightly
• Is found by those who seek it
• Is the provision of riches, honor, and enduring prosperity
• Walks in the way of righteousness and justice
• Works that are gentle
• Pure, peaceable, gentle, willing to yield, full of mercy and good fruits, without traces of partiality or hypocrisy

Notice that last (which comes from the James passage). Wisdom is akin to the fruit of the Spirit:

“In New Testament terms the fruits of ‘wisdom’ are the same as the fruits of the Holy Spirit; cf. ‘But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, long-suffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance: against such there is no law’ (Gal. 5:22-23).” (Vine’s)

In other words, we cannot have wisdom without having the Lord, more and more of Him in our lives. And in order to have more of Him, there must be less of me. I must be willing to give up even that last bastion of control, that last lust, that last secret sin. And while most of us have “cleaned up our acts,” so to speak, on that outside so that we appear as fine Christians, truthfully we cling to certain (either hidden or socially acceptable) sins . . . and that along stands between us and our goal of truly having wisdom.

Solomon’s example of either choosing the adulteress (sin who belongs to Satan) or choosing wisdom (which we can rightly claim because it is the heart of the Father) is a mighty one. We simply need to make that choice.

© 2008 Robin L. O’Hare. All Rights Reserved. International copyright reserved. This study may be copied for nonprofit and/or church purposes only without permission when copied in its entirety (including this notice).

Proverbs 8:5, 10-12

“O simple ones, learn prudence;
acquire intelligence, you who lack it. . . .
Take my instruction instead of silver,
and knowledge rather than choice gold;
for wisdom is better than jewels,
and all that you may desire cannot compare with her.
I, wisdom, live with prudence,
and I attain knowledge and discretion” NRSV

It’s cool these days to be ignorant. You see it everywhere. People talking, writing, acting without knowledge and with no desire to get knowledge. They want to “make” their own culture, their own language, their own sense. I think it’s probably a consequence of evolution (as Dr. Henry Morris predicted). If the physical world is evolving (and there is nothing there that is solidified in essence), then it follows that the social world is evolving, leaving us with the quagmire of no right or wrong, nothing that is fixed outside of us. Everything around us is what we want to perceive, what we want to make of it.

On the surface, I think that many Christians might reject that . . . at first. But as I talk to people on the Internet, with those who call themselves believers, I find that many believe that it is okay to have behaviors, standards that are different from one another, not because each is in a different place of spiritual maturity, but because we cannot tell each other what is right or wrong.

And so I see many people doing things that they obviously shouldn’t be doing. Oh, I not talking about whether or not they attend a certain church or are complementarian or egalitarian. I’m talking about Christians who are participating in affairs or who have had multiple marriages without considering the causes (and effects) or who regularly steal (from the US government, from their employers, from their neighbors) without giving it a second thought.

Various studies confirm that most Christians don’t crack their Bibles open, preferring (if they do anything) to read some one page devotional as a way to get their spiritual food. A report from the Barna Research Group a number of years ago reported that even pastors prayed less than 15 minutes a week (outside of church services). The fact is, many Christians have decided—albeit passively—that being ignorant (without learning) about the Bible is okay.

Solomon, on the other hand, disagrees:

• Learn prudence
• Acquire intelligence
• Take my instruction
• Live with prudence
• Attain knowledge and discretion

The fact is, all of us could use more prudence, more (spiritual) intelligence, more instruction, more knowledge, more discretion. Earlier, Solomon said:

“The beginning of wisdom is this: Get wisdom, and whatever else you get, get insight” (Proverbs 4:7 NRSV).

The beginning of wisdom is simply realizing that you need it! If we refuse to learn, even decide that it’s something we don’t need, we aren’t even at the starting point! Ignorance is bliss only because we are sticking our heads in the sand, refusing to see the truth of reality. That phrase, “sticking your head in the sand,” comes from the ostrich which when threatened, sticks its tiny head in the sand to hide it, leaving exposed . . . its large behind! When we ignore the wisdom of scripture, we leave ourselves open to the attacks of the enemy (and attacks even from our own lusts and desires).

We fill our heads with stuff, stuff, and more stuff everyday. Stuff we hear on the radio. Stuff we see on TV. Stuff we read in books. And yet, what we likely need to fill our heads (and hearts) with is more and more of the Word, more and more of godly wisdom.

© 2008 Robin L. O’Hare. All Rights Reserved. International copyright reserved. This study may be copied for nonprofit and/or church purposes only without permission when copied in its entirety (including this notice).

Proverbs 6:24-26

“to preserve you from the wife of another,
from the smooth tongue of the adulteress.
Do not desire her beauty in your heart,
and do not let her capture you with her eyelashes;
for a prostitute’s fee is only a loaf of bread,
but the wife of another stalks a man’s very life.”

These are extremely interesting words. In this passage, Solomon speaks against married adulterers. In fact, he compares a prostitute with the “wife of another.” He says that the prostitute only demands “a loaf of bread” (money), but that the “wife of another stalks a man’s very life.”

Solomon’s own mother was a married adulteress.

There is nothing in scripture to indicate that David had anything but love for Bathsheba. In fact, she appears to dominate him in his later life, even restricting access to him except as she desired. Perhaps it was this “control” that bothered Solomon (even though this control, in the surface, gave him the kingdom).

The fact is, beginning in adultery ruins any chance for a healthy relationship after that. It doesn’t matter if the two are “in love.” It doesn’t matter if they repent and ask forgiveness. Any relationship born from adultery will bear its scars. And they are hard scars to bear.

I have a dear family friend whom I’ve known from childhood. Our families went to church together. Her oldest son was in my grade at school. Hers was a difficult marriage. Her husband was a contractor . . . and not such a successful one, at that. They lived in an old broken-down “fixer” which always seemed to have walls sagging, pipes broken, windows in disrepair. As a family, they were always broke. And yet, her husband was happy. He would walk around the home (his castle), whistling, fixing this or that. She, on the other hand, was unhappy. Her friends had “regular” homes that they could decorate (albeit economically). She was one that loved beauty. She dressed as best she could, always gave time for her appearance, and had a voice like an angel. She was one of the featured soloists in the church choir.

One day our beloved (and older) pastor died. And the church hired a new pastor. This new pastor, as many new pastors do, felt there were many things that needed to be changed in the church. One of the them was to hire a church secretary. And he hired my friend. It didn’t matter that she didn’t have much office experience. It didn’t matter that she had to drive an hour each way (before commuting was a way of life). I have to wonder. Like David, had his eyes already strayed?

Of course, the end of the matter was that they “fell in love,” almost destroyed the church, broke up two families (he also was married), and had to move out of the state. She lost custody of her children.

After nine years, he was again granted pastorate of a church, this time, a much smaller church. They were happy together and built a life, trying to mend the fences with their children.

She wrote to me a number of years ago. Amazingly, she talked honestly about the affair and the devastation that it caused, like ripples in a still pond. Her words: “Even though I dearly love [my husband], if I had it to do all over again, I wouldn’t. The price wasn’t worth it.”

I’ve known others who’ve grown marriages out of affairs. All kinds of havoc and consequences emerge, things that one wouldn’t even consider when in the throes of passion. Passion often blinds us from the facts of reality.

The descriptions that Solomon chooses to use in this passage are compelling: “the smooth tongue;” “do not desire her beauty;” “do not let her capture you;” “stalks a man’s very life.” And while Solomon speaks from the viewpoint of a male, I believe that the emotions seen here are true from both sides. There is a sense of compulsion, of almost being out of control, that accompanies an affair. Better not to take that first step than to have to try to fight the flood waters that follow.

When we are alone in an unhappy marriages, there is no loneliness worse. It is better to be alone and single than alone in a bad marriage. But the Lord, being wise in all things, knows that an affair is never the solution. Better to live alone being at peace with Him (by living in obedience to His Word) than to live in a house built upon the sand.

© 2008 Robin L. O’Hare. All Rights Reserved. International copyright reserved. This study may be copied for nonprofit and/or church purposes only without permission when copied in its entirety (including this notice).

Proverbs 6:20-23

“My child, keep your father’s commandment,
and do not forsake your mother’s teaching.
Bind them upon your heart always;
tie them around your neck.
When you walk, they will lead you;
when you lie down, they will watch over you;
and when you awake, they will talk with you.
For the commandment is a lamp and the teaching a light,
and the reproofs of discipline are the way of life,” NRSV

God’s timing is simply amazing!

I subscribe to David Wilkerson’s World Challenge Pulpit Series. Pastor Wilkerson is unlike any other contemporary preacher I have met or read. His words cut to the heart and are filled with Holy Spirit wisdom.

In the sermon I read this morning (“The Healing Power of Afflictions,” 3/31/08), Pastor Wilkerson writes:

“As painful as afflictions are, God uses them to achieve his purposes in our lives. . . . Many believers who face affliction immediately think they’re under unsanctioned satanic attack. . . . Yet, the fact is, Satan can’t lift a finger against any child of God unless the Lord allows it.”

Solomon said something very similar here: “the reproofs of discipline are the way of life.”

Reproofs of discipline. A reproof is a reprimand, an expression of sharp disapproval. In other words, it’s God’s signpost that we are heading in the wrong direction. And it can be as sharp, as strong, as compelling as needed to get us to head back in the right direction.

Reproofs can be emotionally and even physically painful.

I struggle with my weight. I will admit that it’s even to the point where food is an addiction for me. And so, in the last few days, I’ve been journaling what I eat. It not only has kept me on track, but it has shown me how much I focus on, think about food. And while there are physical reasons for my problems with my weight, I also haven’t been willing to discipline my body to the point of “reproofs.”

Reproofs of discipline are the way of life.

God’s Word can be such a comfort. He’s the One I run to when I’m in distress, when I’m confused, when life is out of order. But God never intended for His Word to solely be Charlie Brown’s “warm blanket.” His Word is also intended to be that reproof of discipline which turns us away from that sin we’ve embraced and back into His holy presence. The problem is, we like His Word as a comfort, but we don’t really want to be reproved. We want to be loved, but not disciplined. We want to be embraced, but not corrected.

But the reproofs of discipline are the way of life!

Most of us had our childhood inoculations and gave them to our children as well. Regardless of the current controversy regarding them, the fact is, inoculations were developed to ward off greater threats of serious illness: polio, TB, the herpes virus. In other words, we permitted—even embraced—the temporary pain of the injection in order to turn our bodies away from the path of illness and toward the path of health, of life.

Reproofs can be heavenly inoculations. There are sins in our lives, hidden deep, seemingly small and innocuous, that lurk just below the service. In many cases, we have fed these sins, cultivated them, embraced them until they are comfortable, familiar, even welcomed. And yet each and every sin, regardless of how innocent it may appear, is part of Satan’s plan to destroy us and to win victory in our lives over the Holy Spirit. Father God will not permit it! Rather, He allows the “reproofs of discipline,” regardless of how painful they are, to turn us toward Him and to confront our sin brutally and aggressively. Every sin must be weeded out and destroyed. Righteousness and sin cannot live together.

As difficult as the task is, we must embrace His Word with both its comforts and its reproofs. As Solomon says, this is the way of life.

© 2008 Robin L. O’Hare. All Rights Reserved. International copyright reserved. This study may be copied for nonprofit and/or church purposes only without permission when copied in its entirety (including this notice).

Proverbs 6:16-19

“There are six things that the Lord hates,
seven that are an abomination to him:
haughty eyes, a lying tongue,
and hands that shed innocent blood,
a heart that devises wicked plans,
feet that hurry to run to evil,
a lying witness who testifies falsely,
and one who sows discord in a family.”

It’s interesting that Solomon begins with “there are six things . . . seven . . .” Matthew Henry notes, of this beginning:

“and the last of them (which, being the seventh, seems especially to be intended, because he says they are six, yea, seven) is part of his character, that he sows discord.”

In other words, Solomon didn’t miscount, but rather, used this literary technique as a way to emphasize the last in the list: “one who sows discord in a family.”

For me, it comes down to motivation.

There are always going to be times when we disagree with those around us, with our spouses, with our children, with our family, and with those in the Christian family, the house of God. We cannot exist together without having disagreements. But what is the cause? Do we disagree because we are trying to bring a wandering one back into the fold? Or do we disagree because we want to be dominate, because we want our own opinion to prevail? The reason for disagreeing is very important.

Galatians 6:1 (NRSV): “My friends, if anyone is detected in a transgression, you who have received the Spirit should restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness. Take care that you yourselves are not tempted.”

Paul combines both the requirement (the command) of those within the Body to restore one in sin with the admonition to take care that the restorers are also not tempted. What would be that temptation? I believe it is the temptation to restore based on wrong motives. Our concern for restoration should be based in love, not in a desire to be right or superior . . . for we all are sinners.

Discord in a family.

There is much wrong within the Christian Church today. Perhaps there was always much wrong. (I hope not.) But we need to be careful of our motivations for righting the wrongs. Are we doing so in an effort to simply see each (including ourselves) come to the mercy of God? Or are we doing so because we want to be recognized, to be noticed, to be seen as the one who was right, even (God forbid) to be seen as “savior?”

James 1:19 gives us good advice: “You must understand this, my beloved: let everyone be quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to anger” (NRSV)

Quick to listen. Slow to speak.

S. D. Gordon, a great prayer warrior, once said: “You can do more than pray after you have prayed, but you cannot do more than pray before you have prayed.”

If we are truly serious about not sowing discord within the family, perhaps we should spend more time praying, more time listening, and a lot less time speaking . . .

© 2008 Robin L. O’Hare. All Rights Reserved. International copyright reserved. This study may be copied for nonprofit and/or church purposes only without permission when copied in its entirety (including this notice).

Proverbs 6:16-19

“There are six things that the Lord hates,
seven that are an abomination to him:
haughty eyes, a lying tongue,
and hands that shed innocent blood,
a heart that devises wicked plans,
feet that hurry to run to evil,
a lying witness who testifies falsely,
and one who sows discord in a family.” NRSV

“Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility regard others as better than yourselves” (Philippians 2:3 NRSV).

We are definitely a “why me?” culture. We want the best for ourselves, often without the corresponding effort. We want to avoid suffering and loss at all costs, but don’t really mind if others suffer around us.

Harsh? Yes. But likely, it is the truth. We are, as a culture (and becoming, as a world), highly competitive and self-centered. There isn’t anywhere touted the idea that we should promote others over ourselves or suffer loss so that others don’t have to.

Except in the Bible.

I looked up “pride” and “haughty.” In the Hebrew, the word “rom” actually means “to be high, exalted.” In English, the words “pride” and “haughty” both have the connotation of being better than everyone else, of not being on the same plane.

I shouldn’t have to suffer . . .
That person I loved shouldn’t have died . . .
I shouldn’t have lost my home . . .
I should have been promoted . . .
I should have gotten that loan (or car or house) . . .
I should be the one chosen . . .

To all these questions (and ones like them), I would ask: Why not?

Think about a typical, fairly common situation. One opening for a promotion. Several people vying for it. Only one will get it. All of the others will lose out. Why should we desire to “win” so that all these other people will lose?

Haughty eyes.

The verse in Philippians says: “Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit.” Selfish ambition. Self-seeking. Conceit. The idea that I should receive the “good” (the recognition, the attention, the glory, the benefit, the rewards) and that others will have to wait (or not get at all).

Matthew Henry: “We must be concerned not only for our own credit, and ease, and safety, but for those of others also; and rejoice in the prosperity of others as truly as in our own. We must love our neighbour as ourselves, and make his case our own.”

We’re often so busy trying to get what we need (or, more likely, want) for ourselves that we don’t have the time or effort (or inclination) to try to “get” for someone else. We’d rather have the nice office, the better position, the higher salary, the larger home, the newer car, the better clothes, the more spectacular event, more attention, more control, more power. We aren’t inclined to even give in, no less seek the betterment of someone else around us to our own detriment.

Haughty eyes.

We look upon the world as the place where we get what we need, want, desire, can benefit from. Everyone else can take care of herself.

That certainly isn’t what the Lord Jesus did (on this earth) and it’s certainly not what He commanded us to do. Isn’t there a greater reality for us? Isn’t this life simply a breath and then gone? I think that heaven (and eternity) need to have an impact on our lives. If this—these short years—is all there is, then we should go for the gusto and get all we can get. However, if eternity (and heaven) are real, then it doesn’t matter whether we succeed or fail here as long as we live the cause of Christ . . . in humility and great love for those around us.

© 2008 Robin L. O’Hare. All Rights Reserved. International copyright reserved. This study may be copied for nonprofit and/or church purposes only without permission when copied in its entirety (including this notice).

Proverbs 6:12-15

"A scoundrel and a villain
goes around with crooked speech,
winking the eyes, shuffling the feet,
pointing the fingers,
with perverted mind devising evil,
continually sowing discord;
on such a one calamity will descend suddenly;
in a moment, damage beyond repair.” NRSV

I grew up on Saturday morning (black and white) westerns where the good guys all wore white hats and the black guys all wore black hats. (Life was simpler in those days.) The fact is, while that kind of behavior stereotyping may make for good entertainment, it doesn’t serve us in real life. All behavior has a purpose; people aren’t just perverse (though they may seem so) simply because they want to be perverse.

In other words, while people may appear to be scoundrels or villains, there is a purpose in their behavior. They may be afraid (usually); they may be angry (possibly); they may even not feel well. And that being the case, there is the potential within all of us to be “a scoundrel and a villain.”

Solomon ain’t just talkin’ about the guys in black hats!

I’m not always as loving, as forgiving, as charitable (and ultimately as trusting of the Father) as I ought to be. And when those times bubble up in my life, I am often the one with the “crooked speech.” Oh, I certainly don’t intend for what I say to bring about evil. Necessarily. It’s just that some particular person has harmed me or threatened me or even (just) disturbed me and I want those around to know how innocent I am and how guilty that person is. So I point fingers. I even might fantasize about how some evil might befall them. Certainly, rather than sowing peace for that person, I’m trying to sow discord. And often, as a result, I’m caught with my foot in my mouth: calamity that suddenly descends, sometimes even creating damage beyond repair.

My tongue gets me into trouble more than I care to admit.

James talks about the difficult discipline of controlling one’s words:

“The tongue is placed among our members as a world of iniquity; it stains the whole body, sets on fire the cycle of nature, and is itself set on fire by hell. For every species of beast and bird, of reptile and sea creature, can be tamed and has been tamed by the human species, but no one can tame the tongue—a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With it we bless the Lord and Father, and with it we curse those who are made in the likeness of God. From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this ought not to be so” (3:6b-10 NRSV).

Growing up we were taught a saying: “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me.” In a similar fashion, I try to teach my students: “If what someone says about you is true, then it’s true and you shouldn’t be upset. But if what they say about you isn’t true, their saying it doesn’t make it true.”

But the fact is, words hurt. Whether or not we allow them to hurt us is often beside the point. But more importantly, we use words to try to control, rather than trusting God. If we truly believe that God will bring us justice, if we truly believe that He will provide regardless of our circumstances, if we truly believe that we can rest in our peace with Him, then we would feel no need to try to harm someone else. And we certainly wouldn’t justify ourselves by saying that it was only something we said; that we are better than those who harm physically because we only spoke.

I think that, as a Christian, I need to be much more self-reflective and even brutal with how I evaluate my life and my actions. I need to see my sins as sins and deal with them accordingly. Only then, when I realize that even the softest word spoken to bring pain to another, can I really acknowledge that, in that moment, I was a scoundrel and villain and desperately in need of God’s mercy and forgiveness.

© 2008 Robin L. O’Hare. All Rights Reserved. International copyright reserved. This study may be copied for nonprofit and/or church purposes only without permission when copied in its entirety (including this notice).

Proverbs 6:6-11

“Go to the ant, you lazybones;
consider its ways, and be wise.
Without having any chief
or officer or ruler,
it prepares its food in summer,
and gathers its sustenance in harvest.
How long will you lie there, O lazybones?
When will you rise from your sleep?
A little sleep, a little slumber,
a little folding of the hands to rest,
and poverty will come upon you like a robber,
and want, like an armed warrior.” NRSV

“Thieves must give up stealing; rather let them labor and work honestly with their own hands, so as to have something to share with the needy” (Ephesians 4:28 NRSV).

“For even when we were with you, we gave you this command: Anyone unwilling to work should not eat. For we hear that some of you are living in idleness, mere busybodies, not doing any work. Now such persons we command and exhort in the Lord Jesus Christ to do their work quietly and to earn their own living. Brothers and sisters, do not be weary in doing what is right” (2 Thessalonians 3:10-13 NRSV).

There is a new phenomenon of child neglect and it has to do with computer games. Moms, dads, couples so involved in their computer activities—games, chat rooms, blogs, internet shopping—that they neglect their own children (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/1557480/Couple-play-computer-games-as-children-starve.html).

We are a society of recreation. That has become, for many, the goal . . . and for those many, their god. We are to be called, not fondly, lazybones, for we would prefer to play and indulge ourselves, to sleep and rest, to watch TV and have fun, rather than to work and do what is right.

There is a weariness that is not of the body, but rather of the spirit, of our choices. We can weary of doing what is right. (If that were not the case, the apostle Paul wouldn’t have admonished against it.) Solomon was adroit in saying: “a little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest.” To be honest, that is a good description of recreation. We want to work five days, take off two. Work forty-nine weeks, take off three. Work twenty years . . . take off twenty! And poverty is coming upon us because we are becoming a people that scorns honest work.

We would rather play.

Sister Aimee McPherson, who founded the Foursquare Church organization and built the Echo Park Angeles Temple debt free, was walking down the church aisle after a long service (which included an after-service prayer time). A young seminary student was waiting in the back to talk with her. This student walked down the aisle and, in doing so, ignored the piece of trash that was on the floor. Sister Aimee walked past the student and stooped to pick up the trash. She asked the student quietly, “Do you intend to be a pastor?”
“Yes! Yes!” he responded enthusiastically.
“You’ll never make it,” she replied quietly and exited the building.

That story, passed down through my family, has stuck with me for many years. When we tire of doing simple, humble work, we set aside the most basic lessons of scripture which are to “work quietly and to earn [our] own living.” We forget that this is one of the basic foundations of “doing what is right.”

The Lord doesn’t expect us to accomplish great things . . . as the world measures great things. He merely expects us to follow Him moment by moment doing those things which are humble and quiet, those things ignored by the world, but for which He has ordained our hands to do.

© 2008 Robin L. O’Hare. All Rights Reserved. International copyright reserved. This study may be copied for nonprofit and/or church purposes only without permission when copied in its entirety (including this notice).

Proverbs 6:1-5

“My child, if you have given your pledge to your neighbor,
if you have bound yourself to another,
you are snared by the utterance of your lips,
caught by the words of your mouth.
So do this, my child, and save yourself,
for you have come into your neighbor’s power:
go, hurry, and plead with your neighbor.
Give your eyes no sleep
and your eyelids no slumber;
save yourself like a gazelle from the hunter,
like a bird from the hand of the fowler.” NRSV

Solomon talks here about making a promise for another, in our terms, guaranteeing a loan for someone else. Cosigning a loan for a friend or a neighbor. He talks about this same thing in two other places (once about a stranger and once about a neighbor):

“To guarantee loans for a stranger brings trouble,
but there is safety in refusing to do so.” (Proverbs 11:15)

“It is senseless to give a pledge,
to become surety for a neighbor.” (Proverbs 17:18)

It seems like a good thing to help someone out, someone who is in financial trouble and needs our help. After all, they are the ones who will be paying the debt, right? We are simply helping by signing, by lending our “credit worthiness.” But, of course, we all know that isn’t the case. If we co-sign for someone, we are agreeing the pay the amount if they don’t. There are other such business deals, ones that are similar in their impact. “Partnership” deals where two or more families go in together to buy property often mean that we alone could end up being responsible for the debt. Going into business with someone else is also similar.

That isn’t to say that we shouldn’t do those things, but the Bible is very clear about Christians doing their best to stay out of debt. Period. Why? Because with one fell swoop (as we are seeing in this economy), we can lose even the house in which we live:

“Do not be one of those who give pledges,
who become surety for debts.
If you have nothing with which to pay,
why should your bed be taken from under you?” (Proverbs 22:26-27)

But there is a stronger, more spiritually-based reason. If we are so tied up in debt (and in promises to pay for others), we may not have anything left to give when the need arises. I love what Jesus said:

“If you lend to those from whom you hope to receive, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, to receive as much again. But love your enemies, do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return.” (Luke 6:34-35)

Basically, the thought is that, if we have it and someone else needs it, we give it! If that person returns it, great. If they don’t, then that’s also great. The fact is, it’s just stuff anyway . . . and someday it’s all going to burn. Better to give with a generous spirit than to harbor bitterness in our hearts about what the person owes us.

I think about the parable in Matthew 18:

“For this reason the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his slaves. When he began the reckoning, one who owed him ten thousand talents was brought to him; and, as he could not pay, his lord ordered him to be sold, together with his wife and children and all his possessions, and payment to be made. So the slave fell on his knees before him, saying, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you everything.’ And out of pity for him, the lord of that slave released him and forgave him the debt. But that same slave, as he went out, came upon one of his fellow slaves who owed him a hundred denarii; and seizing him by the throat, he said, ‘Pay what you owe.’ Then his fellow slave fell down and pleaded with him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you.’ But he refused; then he went and threw him into prison until he would pay the debt. When his fellow slaves saw what had happened, they were greatly distressed, and they went and reported to their lord all that had taken place. Then his lord summoned him and said to him, ‘You wicked slave! I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. Should you not have had mercy on your fellow slave, as I had mercy on you?’ And in anger his lord handed him over to be tortured until he would pay his entire debt. So my heavenly Father will also do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother or sisterk from your heart” (23-35 NRSV).

Anything—anything—that someone else might owe us is nothing compared to what we owe the Lord Jesus Christ. And anything that we might give to them is nothing compared to what He has given us! Where is our trust in His provision, in His generosity, in His love for us? Is our “god” so small that we think that we can somehow outgive what He will give back to us? Of course not! So rather than indebting ourselves by cosigning, how much better that we simply give to that needy person? “Silver and gold have I none” (Acts 3:6), but what I have I will give you . . . a place to live, clothes to wear, food to eat, a ride to work, a friend to listen. And ultimately, the witness of the Holy Spirit in our lives who also loves this person in need.

© 2008 Robin L. O’Hare. All Rights Reserved. International copyright reserved. This study may be copied for nonprofit and/or church purposes only without permission when copied in its entirety (including this notice).

Proverbs 5:21-23

“For human ways are under the eyes of the Lord,
and he examines all their paths.
The iniquities of the wicked ensnare them,
and they are caught in the toils of their sin.
They die for lack of discipline,
and because of their great folly they are lost.” NRSV

Ever do something in secret and hope you didn’t get caught? We all do! We drive over the speed limit; we make a personal phone call at work; we sneak the last piece of fudge. Whatever our weakness is, we sometimes do those things we know we shouldn’t do in the hopes no one will see and catch us doing it.

God sees.

We forget that! Or, at least, we ignore it. I think, for myself, I’m concerned that if God sees me doing something wrong, He will stop loving me. So it’s easier to think that He doesn’t see than that He really does.

I need more discipline.

“They die for lack of discipline . . ."

Sometimes I think that discipline is really just the desire to grasp life as it is, rather than how I wish it was. I mean . . .

I wish that eating candy didn’t produce fat.
I wish that watching TV didn’t degrade my morals.
I wish that buying things didn’t deplete my resources.
I wish that yelling when I’m angry didn’t hurt others.
I wish that I could sin without God knowing.

All these actions bring results that I want to avoid. I want the actions . . . without the consequences. And that simply isn’t going to happen. What I need to do is to embrace life as it is, not as I want it to be, to understand that certain choices will automatically bring about certain reactions and there’s nothing I can do to change that. Better that I change my choices!

“ . . . they are caught in the toils of their sin.” The KJV translates it: “they are holden with the cords of their sin.” Our choices are directly tied to their results. We can’t separate the two (as much as we might like). Further, the more we do something, the harder it is not to do it the next time. Our choice and our response becomes more and more automatic, more habitual.

“They die for lack of discipline . . . “

There are three kinds of discipline: (1) the kind of discipline that is outwardly imposed by others (e.g. punishment) to try to encourage us to change our behavior; (2) the kind of discipline that is inwardly imposed by ourselves by denying the lusts of our flesh; and (3) the kind of discipline that is teaching.

The wicked die, I think, from a lack of all three. There are times when we need others (including Father God) to impose such consequences as to violently repel us from our course. We are set on destroying ourselves because the moment feels so good! The Father’s love is such that He will create horrible circumstances to try to convince us to take another path.

There are times when we know that what we are choosing is wrong and we make the decision to turn away from it, to deny ourselves. (As Christians, it’s likely that this is a skill we need to improve in our lives. I know that I do.)

There are also those times when we simply need more instruction, to learn more about what it means to please God so that our choices line up with His will.

This passage calls “a lack of discipline” “great folly.” I want this day to embrace wisdom, rather than folly, that I might receive life rather than death.

© 2008 Robin L. O’Hare. All Rights Reserved. International copyright reserved. This study may be copied for nonprofit and/or church purposes only without permission when copied in its entirety (including this notice).

Proverbs 5:15-20

“Drink water from your own cistern,
flowing water from your own well.
Should your springs be scattered abroad,
streams of water in the streets?
Let them be for yourself alone,
and not for sharing with strangers.
Let your fountain be blessed,
and rejoice in the wife of your youth,
a lovely deer, a graceful doe.
May her breasts satisfy you at all times;
may you be intoxicated always by her love.
Why should you be intoxicated, my son, by another woman
and embrace the bosom of an adulteress?” NRSV

I’m surrounded, in my school, by children who are growing up in “blended” families. Paraphrased from another situation: “I don’t know what is worse. The fact that we have blended families or the fact that they are so commonly accepted that there is actually a term for them?” Just this week we had dinner with two (now) single moms who have shared, at one time, the same husband. And so, for several years, they have co-parented each other’s children. While the effort to keep these children together is commendable, the fact that these young women (in their thirties) are on their third (or fourth or fifth) partners is, in itself, frightening.

Solomon talks about “rejoic[ing] in the wife of your youth.” There is something to be said for growing old together. There is a comfort in familiarity. It is a safe haven when you can go and know that you will be accepted. I guess I don’t understand why people have this desire (this need?) for the new, the unknown, the unfamiliar. I think perhaps we look to new situations (new relationships, new jobs, new homes) as a way to fix what’s wrong with where and who we are right now. If we could just get that new job in a new city, we’d be happy. If we could just have that new relationship with that new person, we’d find love and acceptance.

The problem is, we take ourselves with us into that new situation. In other words, whatever it is that is causing us to be discontented now . . . will still be there (eventually) then. Because we will be there.

God gives us a command here. He doesn’t say “find joy in the wife of your youth.” He says, “Rejoice in the wife of your youth.” In other words (my paraphrase), “determine to be joyful with the relationship you have now.” If we could understand that our decisions can determine our emotions, rather than allowing our emotions to determine our decisions, we would find it much easier to walk to the narrow path.

Ever walk down the hallway at work and have a co-worker ask you how you are? Of course. It happens to us all. The next time, be conscious of how you react. Do you frown and find something to complain about? Or do you smile and find something to rejoice about? We always have a choice! Even when we are hurting or sad or confused or anxious, we can choose to find the silver lining, to rejoice in the blessings God has sent for us today. Just a beautiful sky or a singing bird or someone’s smile can be a blessing. In fact, if we were to begin to list all the blessings we have, we would be overwhelmed.

We can learn to rejoice in our present situations, in our current relationships, in the place where God has planted us.

© 2008 Robin L. O’Hare. All Rights Reserved. International copyright reserved. This study may be copied for nonprofit and/or church purposes only without permission when copied in its entirety (including this notice).