Luke 9:23-25

“Then He said to them all, ‘If any want to become My followers, let them deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow Me. For those who want to save their life will lose it, and those who lose their life for My sake will save it. What does it profit them if they gain the whole world, but lose or forfeit themselves?’” (NRSV)

Who are you? What does your life consist of? How do you define yourself? What do you hold important? All of these questions help us to determine what makes up “our life.” Particularly in Western culture, where there is an abundance of wealth, life is more than simply breathing. It is the satisfaction of fulfilling our wishes and desires. It is becoming who we want to be or doing what we want to do. Even if we spend a majority of our time earning money in ways that aren’t fulfilling or fun, we focus on those times when we can “enjoy” ourselves doing . . . whatever. Maybe you are the kind of person who wants to focus on health, on eating right and exercising. Maybe you are the kind of person who wants to experience new things, challenge yourself to new heights. Maybe you have a particular hobby or talent that is your “pride and joy.” It doesn’t matter what it is. That thing (or those things) which make you happy, for which you long, to which you gravitate, those things are at least part (if not the focus) of your life.

The question that the Lord Jesus presents here is this: Are we willing to give that up for the sake of the kingdom? If giving it up meant that someone would get saved, that someone would listen to the gospel message, would we be willing to give it up?

Dr. Sidney and Helen Correll were Foursquare pastors infused with a passion for missions. This same passion they taught their children. Their son, Sidney Robert, took up the passion and prepared as a medical doctor for the mission field in Africa. Imagine the years, dedication, and expense that were incurred to allow him to fulfill his dream. His parents were overjoyed beyond imagination, that one of their children would take up the dream and dedicate their life to bringing the gospel to a continent where many were nonbelievers. Helen Correll, in her book, quotes her husband:

“Can you imagine what it meant to me when my own son finished his long years of training as a doctor and surgeon, and sailed to the African continent as a medical missionary? I felt a tremendous responsibility to this boy, and to all the missionaries of United World Mission. I dreamed dreams of conquest, conquest of this whole western part of Africa. And then, the cruel message from the Western Union operator: ‘Sidney Robert went to be with the Lord October 15th, 4 am.’ In a blind flash of pain, my world caved in, and the awful question rushed in, ‘Why?’ All these years of preparation. The work was just begun, and there was not another missionary doctor in a thousand miles.”

Sidney Robert hadn’t been in Africa more than a few months, perhaps less, when the Lord took him home in a tragic accident. It seemed that Dr. Sidney and Helen had lost everything, but as mature Christians, they were willing to lose their lives, even their dreams if the Lord required it. Imagine their surprise when, because of their son’s death, more than a dozen people responded to the need for missionaries in Africa and answered the call. Father God was certainly aware of the need and had His own plan to provide for it! But it took the Corrells being willing to give up their “lives,” to give up their dream as they had dreamed it in order to allow God’s plan to take hold.

My husband and I are currently facing the possibility of having to give up a dream, a part of our lives that we thought was an important ministry. And as we have struggled with the thought of this loss, the Lord spoke to me yesterday: Are you willing to give this up for the sake of the Kingdom? If this means that people are drawn to me, is the loss of this part of your life worth it? Are you willing?

I believe that the Lord is asking each one of us this question. We need to be examining our lives and asking what thing is there that the Lord would have us give up. What are the things in our lives—even those things which seem so right and good—that are impeding the work that He has planned? In order to gain our lives with Him, we need to be readily willing to give up whatever He asks in order that the Kingdom might be advanced.

Are we willing?

© 2012 Robin L. O’Hare. All Rights Reserved. Permission granted for nonprofit and church groups to use this article in its entirety (including this notice). For other uses, please contact servinggodalone@yahoo.com.

Psalm 34:13-18

“Keep your tongue from evil, and your lips from speaking deceit. Depart from evil, and do good; seek peace, and pursue it. The eyes of the Lord are on the righteous, and His ears are open to their cry. The face of the Lord is against evildoers, to cut off the remembrance of them from the earth. When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears, and rescues them from all their troubles. The Lord is near to the brokenhearted, and saves the crushed in spirit” (NRSV).

Perspective is everything!

I can remember when I was learning to drive. (And, yes, it was a long time ago.) I would watch the curb and lines very near to the car and often find myself drifting perilously close to the curb or into the oncoming traffic. Only when I looked ahead, into the distance, was I able to correctly steer the car in a straight line.

I think that life for believers is very much like that. When we stare too intensely at the circumstances around us, focusing on them, we lose our perspective and begin to veer into all kinds of sin, including speaking evil and deceit. We forget that ahead—in the distance—is the promise of salvation, is the promise of God to take care of us. That He is working all things for our good, even perhaps the evil things that are currently surrounding us.

When we drive, the curb next to us is rarely our destination. It is simply that which we have to pass by in order to reach the place we are going. It is the same in life. This situation in which we find ourselves enmeshed isn’t our destination; it isn’t our “forever.” It is simply something we need to pass by on our way to our true and eternal home. It’s just a speck in the road.

This passage is clearly about a situation where someone was being persecuted. When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears, and rescues them from all their troubles. The Lord is near to the brokenhearted, and saves the crushed in spirit. I’m currently in a situation where I am crying out for help, a situation where of trouble. I am very brokenhearted and crushed in spirit, and yet, I know that the Lord is with me and is going ahead of me to make the perfect way.

This passage isn’t alone in its admonition of how we should act when we are in the midst of trials. Throughout scripture—over and over again (probably the repetition is for those like me who are obtuse when it comes to learning how to respond in crises)—we are commanded to respond to evil with good. Paul wrote in Romans:

“Do not repay anyone evil for evil, but take thought for what is noble in the sight of all. If it is possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave room for the wrath of God; for it is written, ‘Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.’ No, ‘if your enemies are hungry, feed them; if they are thirsty, give them something to drink; for by doing this you will heap burning coals on their heads.’ Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good” (12:17-21 NRSV).

Paul’s passage is more powerful that I could imagine. The word translated “noble” in v. 17 is kalos. From Strong’s G2570 it means:

“1 beautiful, handsome, excellent, eminent, choice, surpassing, precious, useful, suitable, commendable, admirable. 1a beautiful to look at, shapely, magnificent. 1b good, excellent in its nature and characteristics, and therefore well adapted to its ends. 1b1 genuine, approved. 1b2 precious. 1b3 joined to names of men designated by their office, competent, able, such as one ought to be. 1b4 praiseworthy, noble. 1c beautiful by reason of purity of heart and life, and hence praiseworthy. 1c1 morally good, noble. 1d honourable, conferring honour. 1e affecting the mind agreeably, comforting and confirming.”

I know that the definition is long, but I read it again and again. And then I thought about all of this in light of the scripture: Do not repay anyone evil for evil, but take thought for what is noble in the sight of all.

Take thought for what is . . . beautiful, excellent, surpassing, precious, commendable, magnificent, excellent in its nature and characteristics, genuine, praiseworthy, beautiful by reason of purity of heart and life, morally good, honorable, comforting . . . in the sight of all.

So, when I am in a hurtful or harmful situation, I am not to respond in kind, but instead to take thought of God, for what else or who else is beautiful by reason of purity of heart and life? Who else is excellent in nature and characteristics? When I hit a bump in the road, rather than focusing on the bump, I need to focus on the beauty of the Lord and His provision for me.

Paul also makes this passage very practical. He commands us to repay evil with good. Now, it might be easy to think that Paul didn’t know what he was talking about if he had never suffered persecution. But he did! He described his suffering in 2 Corinthians:

“Five times I have received from the Jews the forty lashes minus one. Three times I was beaten with rods. Once I received a stoning. Three times I was shipwrecked; for a night and a day I was adrift at sea; on frequent journeys, in danger from rivers, danger from bandits, danger from my own people, danger from Gentiles, danger in the city, danger in the wilderness, danger at sea, danger from false brothers and sisters; in toil and hardship, through many a sleepless night, hungry and thirsty, often without food, cold and naked” (11:24-27 NRSV).

And what’s amazing is that earlier, in chapter 4, Paul calls all these things “slight momentary afflictions” (v. 17). How could he do that? I think, perhaps, it’s because he was able to keep his eyes on the destination and not worry about the curbs or the bumps in the road. He understood the purpose of being a Christian: to minister to a world that, by its nature, would create pain and heartache and suffering. This world is filled to the brim with sin. People are out of control trying to hang onto their rights, trying to assuage their pain, and trying to justify their own hurtful actions. They don’t need to have any more pain added to their lives. Instead, they need to be ministered to. They need to be fed with the Bread of Life and satisfied with the Living Water. And, who can do that but the believers around them? Who can do that but me? Even if they are the ones who have harmed me, how can I deny them the opportunity to learn about God’s love and what the Lord Jesus has done for them? And if I make them my enemies, how can I share the gospel with them? The psalmist wrote:

When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears, and rescues them from all their troubles. The Lord is near to the brokenhearted, and saves the crushed in spirit.

The Lord knows what I need. He sees and knows if evil has been done to me and because of His love, He is angry with the evil doers. But He is also ready and willing to offer them forgiveness and salvation if they will repent. I don’t need to stand up in defense of myself. I don’t need to try to find some kind of recompense. Only God can truly restore what I have lost and He will provide exactly what I need. Meanwhile, I need to keep my eyes on the goal at the end of the road, keep myself focused on what I should be doing, and continue to pray and minister to those around me.

© 2012 Robin L. O’Hare. All Rights Reserved. Permission granted for nonprofit and church groups to use this article in its entirety (including this notice). For other uses, please contact servinggodalone@yahoo.com.

Psalm 89:8

“O Lord God Almighty! Where is there anyone as mighty as You, Lord? Faithfulness is Your very character” (NLT).

I teach in a public school and these days, there’s a lot of talk within educational circles about character education. The word “character” in that context is basically talking about morality, the ability to see the right and wrong in each situation and to choose the right, regardless of one’s initial impulses or desires. Basically, for me, character means that foundational part of a person that motivates his decisions, his behavior, and from which he cannot deviate without conscious choice or the empowering of the Holy Spirit. Character is who we are when no one else is looking.

A. W. Tozer wrote an entire book on God’s character, The Knowledge of the Holy. In an opening chapter, he wrote: “An attribute of God is whatever God has in any way revealed as being true of Himself.” In his Bible Handbook, Pastor Jack Hayford wrote: “God may be described in terms of His attributes, the inherent characteristics of His person or being.” I truly believe that when the translators of the NLT chose to translate Psalm 89:8 using the word “character,” they chose that word deliberately.

Faithfulness is Your very character.

That phrase is so powerful. Think about how it is different from these phrases:

You are a faithful person.
You are always (or usually) faithful.

Faithfulness—the act of being faithful all the time—is not only a way to describe God; it is God. The very essence of faithfulness, its very existence, is dependent upon God Himself existing. There is no faithfulness without God. Galatians 5 tells us that the fruit of the Spirit is “love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control” (v. 22-23). The thing is, these are not simply characteristics or attributes of God; these are God. Without Him, these would not exist. Without God, there is no love, for God is love. Without God, there is no joy, for God is joy. Without God, there is no peace or patience or kindness or generosity or faithfulness or gentleness or self-control. These things do not exist outside of Him and we simply describe Him using them. These things are God!

Faithfulness is Your very character.

It is so very easy to deceive ourselves into thinking that our lives and this world can exist, even for a moment, without God or outside of His influence. It’s easy to “make believe” that we can do something that He won’t see or that we can hide from Him. (It would be easier to hide from the oxygen that surrounds our planet than to hide something from God.) I can’t hide the fear or anger within my heart from Him. I can’t hide my frustration with a certain situation or my desire for vengeance. He sees it and He already knows about it. What He’s waiting for isn’t to discover it, but rather for me to honestly admit that I have sinned and to seek His willing and ready forgiveness. And He is willing and ready to forgive because He is faithful.

© 2012 Robin L. O’Hare. All Rights Reserved. Permission granted for nonprofit and church groups to use this article in its entirety (including this notice). For other uses, please contact servinggodalone@yahoo.com.

Genesis 50:10-20a

“Joseph said to them, ‘Do not be afraid! Am I in the place of God? Even though you intended to do harm to me, God intended it for good’” (NRSV).

The story of Joseph is always amazing to me. I keep coming back, again and again, during different experiences in my life, to this particular verse and to the reality that was Joseph’s. You see, I’ve heard many preachers extol the honors that Joseph received, how he went from a slave to becoming Prime Minister of Egypt, second only to Pharaoh. But that’s not quite the entire story.

Joseph, as a boy, I’m sure was convinced that he was destined by God to live within his family, within that safe known culture, and there to become the family patriarch. That he was destined to grow up and grow old surrounded by all he knew, lauded and respected by his brothers and their families. That he would have a comfortable and secure life.

None of that happened.

We all know the story. Because of his brothers’ jealousy, he was sold as a slave and taken to Egypt. There, he adapted himself to a life of servitude, but was able to prosper under the ownership of Potipher. He became second in power in that household, only his master was greater . . . when a lustful and vindictive wife falsely accused him of rape. He was summarily thrown into prison where he again became successful as the prison scribe (but still in prison). Then, through the interpretation of dreams—given to him by God—he was elevated to the position of Prime Minister of Egypt.

But here’s really where the “untold” story becomes so important. First, he was never vindicated of the rape. So, it’s is highly likely that the Egyptian court still looked upon him as a rapist. There was very likely much gossip and ostracizing. His only “acceptance” into that social circle came from Pharaoh’s power. Thus, outwardly he was accepted and respected, but that was probably all. Second, he came from a tribe that were shepherds, hated in Egypt (that’s why his family was “given” Goshen, a land distanced from Pharaoh’s palace). Pharaoh gave Joseph an Egyptian wife, clothed him in Egyptian clothes, and required him to shed every bit of his previous culture. In other words, Joseph was required outwardly to become an Egyptian. So, here he was, the Prime Minister, bereft of anything familiar and hated by all around him except his boss (who likely didn’t see him a lot). Even though he had the outward trappings of success, his life was certainly very different than what he had wanted or dreamed of.

And here’s where the story becomes so interesting. During his father’s life, Joseph made all appearances of embracing his family. But after Jacob died, Joseph’s brothers became frantic that he would finally take his vengeance upon them. They beg him to be merciful and he responded:

“Do not be afraid! Even though you intended to do harm to me, God intended it for good.”

Joseph had lost “everything” that we normally cherish. He had become, in essence, a stranger to his family. He regularly spoke a different language, wore different clothes, lived wholly in a different culture, had a foreign wife. And yet, in all of it, Joseph kept the one thing that mattered: his relationship with God. In that, despite all of his losses, he was able to understand the perspective of all our lives! You see, our lives are simply a dot in all of eternity. What matters is how much we trust God, how we live out His will, how we trust Him in the darkness. The losses don’t matter because He has promised to work all things for our good! Not some things, not only the good things, not just the fair things, but all things! Life wasn’t as Joseph had dreamed or expected. Life certainly wasn’t fair to him and things never evened out. But his life was what God had planned for a far greater purpose. Joseph was able to learn to take the long view of things and to trust God, regardless of what happened to him. Where he lived didn’t matter. His reputation with those around him didn’t matter. Where he ended up in life didn’t matter. All that mattered was doing the Father’s will . . . and Joseph did that.

I have to ask myself if I can be that obedient, that trusting. Everything was taken from Joseph and though there was an outward form of restoration, Joseph truly didn’t receive anything like he expected until he reached heaven. Am I willing to wait until then? Am I willing to live in a world that certainly isn’t fair, trusting God to take care of everything and being willing to wait for things to even out after I go Home?

Hebrews 11 teaches that many of the great saints of the Bible, both those named and those unnamed, didn’t receive the result of God’s promises to them in this life:

“All of these died in faith without having received the promises, but from a distance they saw and greeted them” (v. 13 NRSV).

These understood the great truth taught by our Lord:

“Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust consume and where thieves break in and steal; but store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust consumes and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also” (Matthew 6:19-21 NRSV).

Am I willing to simply walk the path He had outlined for me, shedding everything that He deems unnecessary and clinging only to Him? Is He my only treasure? I would hope that daily I come closer to that Truth in my life.

© 2012 Robin L. O’Hare. All Rights Reserved. Permission granted for nonprofit and church groups to use this article in its entirety (including this notice). For other uses, please contact servinggodalone@yahoo.com.

Psalm 89:17-18

“You are their glorious strength. Our power is based on Your favor. Yes, our protection comes from the Lord, and He, the Holy One of Israel, has given us our king” (NLT).

How much should we defend ourselves? Perhaps the question should actually be, how much do we allow the Lord to defend us? Is our protection truly the Lord? Do we allow Him to work in situations and to take care of us? Do I?

I often wish that life would just stop for awhile and let me rest, that I could go through a few days without some kind of crisis. I would love to be able to get up, live the day, come home, go to bed, and simply breathe, rather than having to deal with the problems that come from living in a sinful world. I sure that many other believers have the same desire.

Life here—in this earth that is filled with sin—is simply not easy. It’s not uneventful and it’s not painless. Life here consists of my plans and my desires converging with the plans and desires of others and usually converging with a crash, rather than converging seamlessly. Like a gross of pinballs let loose in a pinball game all at the same time, we all tend to bump and bang off each other, creating more problems than we started with and many times leaving pain and heartache in our wake.

So when the pain, when the heartache, when the attacks come, where should I turn? Where do I turn? Do I truly believe that God is working everything out for my good or do I unceasingly spin my wheels looking for a way that I might successfully manipulate the situation around me? (As if that were possible.) This passage states that any power (or influence) that I might have in every situation is based solely on God’s favor. In other words, if He has gone before me, then I will have influence. If I go where He has not gone, I am helplessly left to my own defenses (which I know from experience are very much less than satisfactory).

My protection comes from the Lord. It doesn’t matter what manner of attack comes, God is working everything for my good (Romans 8:28). Not only that, but God Himself is the manner of my protection:

“You who fear the Lord, trust in the Lord! He is their help and their shield” (Psalm 115:11 NRSV).

Nothing can come upon me that the Lord Himself doesn’t allow. No “evil” can come to me, only that which He is working for my good.

“Because you have made the Lord your refuge, the Most High your dwelling place, no evil shall befall you, no scourge come near your tent” (Psalm 91:9-10 NRSV).

Because of this, there is no need to defend myself, but simply to trust Him. He will guide my steps, guide my words, and make a way for me . . . every time!

© 2012 Robin L. O’Hare. All Rights Reserved. Permission granted for nonprofit and church groups to use this article in its entirety (including this notice). For other uses, please contact servinggodalone@yahoo.com.

Philippians 4:6

“Do not worry about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.” (NRSV).

I have a wonderful adopted aunt. (My parents were both only children, so I didn’t have any aunts or uncles by blood). She has now gone Home, but while on earth, she was a girlie-girl if ever there was one. I can’t ever remember her wearing pants . . . ever! She was always in a dress, with heels (at least small ones), her hair done up in curls, beautiful jewelry. She was a minister of God, speaking and writing music, traveling all over the world telling others about God. Today, I read something she wrote and saw these words:

“I find myself praying, ‘Oh, God, let me be there when someone needs me!’”

I almost laughed. My wonderful aunt was marvelous at speaking and at music, but she was totally inept at cooking, cleaning, fixing, doing. Almost anything that required more than a piano or a pen. Who could she help? She couldn’t fix a meal, mend a dress, change a tire, even pick up a box to help someone move.

And then I read on.

She wrote: “There were heartaches to be shared . . . counsellings to be offered . . . prayers to be prayed.”

Prayers to be prayed.

I stopped short and thought of a conversation I had yesterday with a friend. His dad died suddenly last week. I saw my friend for the first time yesterday and he was still devastated in mourning and loss. Tears welled up in his eyes the moment I asked how he was. I offered to help (several times), but felt so helpless. What could I do to help in this situation? I told him that we were praying (which we are), but that alone seemed like so little!

Suddenly this morning I realized how backward my thinking has been! Oh, how short-sighted I’ve been, to think that my feeble hands are all that are needed to mend the problems of those around me, and how wrong I’ve been to think that praying for someone isn’t much. Praying for someone is everything! Praying releases the blessings of God into a situation, into someone’s life. And if that person isn’t a Christian, praying may be just what it takes to bring them to Christ.

The apostle Paul taught repeatedly the importance of prayer, insisting that we pray about everything and pray all the time:

“Pray in the Spirit at all times in every prayer and supplication” (Ephesians 6:18 NRSV).

“Rejoice in hope, be patient in suffering, persevere in prayer” (Romans 12:12 NRSV).

I have shared this before, but I know it needs repeating in my own life. S. D. Gordon, a great saint of the Lord, said, “You can do more than pray after you have prayed, but you cannot do more than pray before you have prayed.” There is no greater gift that I can give to a friend than my prayers, no greater service that I can do, no greater sacrifice that I can make. As a Church, I think we have ignored or forgotten how powerful our prayers can be. Our votes may not change the course of a nation, but our prayers can. Our love may not change the course of a marriage, but our prayers can. Our protests may not change the course of a society, but our prayers can. Why? Because when we pray, we lay the problem at the throne of grace and our God is able to do whatever He wills in the lives and situations around us. We are lost because we haven’t prayed. We become mighty in the Lord when we learn how to, at all times and for all things, pray.

© 2012 Robin L. O’Hare. All Rights Reserved. Permission granted for nonprofit and church groups to use this article in its entirety (including this notice). For other uses, please contact servinggodalone@yahoo.com.

Psalm 89:5

“Let the heavens praise Your wonders, O Lord, Your faithfulness in the assembly of the holy ones” (NRSV).

I work in a very small, rural community. Often, when my husband and I go to the grocery store, we see students from one of the two school in which we work. The younger students are often amazed that we are there, as if they believe (which I think some do) that we should live our lives only and always at school. That’s where they know us; that’s where we belong. In their eyes, we are simply teachers with no other roles (such as spouse, parent, or friend) and teachers belong at school. I’ve even had very young ones run to the nearest aisle and peer out at me, wonderingly, afraid to talk to me outside of my “regular” sphere of influence.

I think as Christians we often think of God similarly. We box Him into the areas in which our lives revolve. God is here on this earth, within the stars and sky we see, and within our lives. In a sense, within “the heavens” and within “the assembly.” And His doings are limited to the wonders and faithfulness that we know, at least in our minds. Doris Akers used to sing a song entitled “How Big Is God?”

“How big is God? How big and wide is His domain.
To try to tell these lips can only start,
He's big enough to rule His mighty universe,
Yet small enough to live within my heart.”

How big is God? Psalm 95 tells us that He holds everything in His hands:

“For the Lord is a great God, and a great King above all gods. In His hand are the depths of the earth; the heights of the mountains are His also. The sea is His, for He made it, and the dry land, which His hands have formed” (vs. 3-5 NRSV).

Now, I know that God doesn’t have hands in the sense that I do, but He made the earth. He is obviously much bigger, much more powerful than any force I can see or even imagine! His power goes beyond . . . beyond anything I can know of or learn about:

“He determines the number of the stars; He gives to all of them their names. Great is our Lord, and abundant in power; His understanding is beyond measure” (Psalm 147:4-5 NRSV).

According to astronomers and scientists, there are approximately (because they can’t count them all) between 10 sextillion and 1 septillion stars in the universe. Now, to understand that (if you’re not a mathematician; I’m not!), a sextillion is the number 10 with 22 zeroes after it. And a septillion is the number 10 with 24 zeroes after it. There are at least that many stars and God has named every one of them! I have about 60-80 students in each of my two choirs and I can’t keep all their names straight or memorized. I can’t imagine not only remembering, but having the vocabulary possible to name 10 sextillion stars. And yet my God has done this! And the psalmist says that “the heavens” (that is, all these stars as well as their accompanying planets, the comets, the suns, and moons, and anything else out there) praise God’s wonders. They also praise His faithfulness to us who meet together in His assembly, the believers who are called by His name.

This universe is huge, but God’s focus is on earth, on the creation He made in His image (us!), and on the work of salvation that He has done to create a Bride for His Son. In other words, God’s focus is on me. And as His daughter, I have a direct line to Him, anytime, anywhere. He wants to hear from me, to talk with me, and to care for me. He is faithful to me. Oh, that I would learn from His Spirit how to be faithful to Him!

© 2012 Robin L. O’Hare. All Rights Reserved. Permission granted for nonprofit and church groups to use this article in its entirety (including this notice). For other uses, please contact servinggodalone@yahoo.com.